green leaf.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Funny Quotes

I found these quotes by Bill Cosby ... really funny and so true if you think about it. Enjoy!

- A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station. -

- A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. -

- Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. -

- Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger. -

- Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.-

- Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.-

- Gray hair is God's graffiti. -

- Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. -

- Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. -

- I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't. -

- I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. -

- I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time. -

- In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. -

- Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. -

- Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes. -

- Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet. -

- People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on. -

- That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked. -

- The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it. -

- The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now. -

- There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. -

- Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it. -

- Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice. -

- You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any. -

green leaf ;

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