green leaf.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Live Like You Were Dying

It has not been a good week, to say the least. A friend's close uncle passed away a few days ago. On Friday morning, my uncle passed away, too. Although I wasn't close to him, there are some fond memories I still cherish. This uncle of mine was my late father's younger brother. I was told he fell in the bathroom and minutes later had a stroke and was comatosed for five days before he died. I'm sad and relieved, actually. Sad because he was the only one left who reminded me of my father. Relieved because if he were alive, his suffering would be unimaginable. When I saw the faces of his children, my cousins, I had flashbacks to the day when I lost my own father. I felt their pain, their loss. My uncle has four children. His only son was seen crying uncontrollably. People get like that when they lose a parent. But his tears was because of something else. He felt remorsefull that he didn't treat his father better when he was alive.

I'll be honest. I used to snap at my father too because I felt angry and frustrated that he was so ill. I was angry because he made it harder on us, his children, and my mum by not wanting to get better. What I'm saying is that, our parents won't be around for long. We should try our best to give them all the respect and love they deserve because let's face it ... they were the ones who brought us here.

Sitting on a chair at the porch of my uncle's house in Penang, I suddenly realised that the only time I can have a chance to meet the cousin-mousin, aunty-munti and uncles on my father's side is during a FUNERAL or a wedding. I mean, really, I see them on one occasion and the next their either pregnant, or married, or pregnant again or, well, ... dead.

After reciting prayers and bidding goodbyes, my sisters and I (oh yes, and the porky four-year-old tyrant) adjourned to our family house for some dinner and a shower before going on the road back to KL again. That was the shortest trip back home I ever had. Anyway, my mission was to find a particular photograph of me and my late uncle I knew I had. And I did find it! That and together with a bunch of old black-and-white photos of my parents and siblings my mum had kept in a box. So the reminiscing started. My other uncle (my mum's older brother) was also with us and I actually found HIS wedding picture. Oh yeah, there were dozens of my sister and her cam-whoring in the 80s. BAD HAIR AND ARRGGGHHH! BAD FASHION! The four-year-old couldn't believe that was her mummy sporting the ever-so-awful shiny pantsuit with the DuranDuran hairdo. Sigh....

A colleague of mine told me this last week that I should be thankful for what I have. I was in one my moods, of course, all depressed and moping that I wanted more and SOMEBODY, in my life. He told me to stop being sad and look at the bright side; I have my family, friends, work and all the little blessings that many people don't have.

It's true. Life is short. Live like you were dying. If you feel like doing something that makes you happy, just do it.
Later.

green leaf ;

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