Friday, February 04, 2005
I am sure we all have heard of things that go "bump" in the night. Well picture this ... you're cruising in your car around Subang Jaya at 50 mph while bopin' to your favourite tunes (and chatting with your pals) and suddenly your foot hits the breaks to make way for ... no, not a pothole ... not even a stray animal or a human being for that matter ... but a friggin' didn't-know-what-to-do-with-all-that-extra-leftover-tar BUMPS!! If my car could talk, it would cry instead! The shock absorbers (all four) on my car are, hmmm...how should I say...have experienced enough shock and are therefore immuned to future shocks. All thanks to the mighty bumps in Subang and PJ! Yes, yes, it's all for safety reasons so drivers will not speed blah, blah, blah... but I mean come on! It's like you're taking part in a bloody Camel Trophy expedition! There are a total of 12 bumps (the last time I counted) within a 500-metre radius from my sister's house (Ida, back me up on this one!) in SS19/1 alone. Forget about shock absorbers, hell your damn break lights would blow before you even know it. Don't even get me started on the different sizes of the bumps. Well, too late. Here goes...
Oh, but firstly, I would like to thank Brendon for coming up with the names. There is the "Pregnant Lady", "Beer Belly", "Flat-Chested", "Anorexic", "Bony Ass" (a newcomer), and the all time bone-shaking "Teethy Mother-Fuckers" (located on the main road outside Sunway Pyramid). It works at slowing drivers down, though. I think the only person who enjoys it is Hilyah whenever I give her a lift home. I fear that the interior of my car would just pop out of its original position everytime I pass the bumps. Why there are four "Bony Ass" bumps placed consecutively between each other is beyond me! Are they afraid that we will speed between the foot-long space? Oh... how could I forget one more category ... "The Invisible" bump! Yes ... it is those unpainted ones that is the same colour as the road where you can experience first hand on what it's like being on a rodeo!
Baby turn around ... let me see you shake that body go bump, bump, bump..