Saturday, December 03, 2005
I often ask myself where and how did it all start? MTV maybe? I consider it a tragic vocabulary epidemic that has ruined the way Malaysian youths converse in their daily lives. Trust me, the invention of "Manglish" isn't so bad after all. Think about the last time you heard a conversation that went something like this.
Person 1 : "So what was the book about?"
Person 2 : "Well, basically, it's like, this girl, who, basically, like, travels the world and basically, finds, like, this guy and they, basically, fall in love and like ... "
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Did the doctors drop you on the head when they sucked you out of your mother's womb which obviously resulted in your speech impediment?! Come on, people. This will not fly during a job interview, mind you. I should start my own "Big Book of Peeves" and put this among my Top 10 Things That Will Result in A Tragic Death chart. Jokes aside, I just cringe when I recall the times I used the word "like" unnecessarily. Seriously, there are 400 million words in the English language and apparently "basically" and "like" are the two words people opt to use to make a sentence. When I hear someone using the word "basically", I just want to BASICALLY grab a big-ass rope and ring their fucking necks! (Excuse my French) Trust me. I am not the only one who has rendered the word "basically" useless (pun intended, yes sireee!). According to Lynch's Guide to Good Vocabulary, which I found online, it said:
Basically.
Almost always useless. Qualifiers such as basically, essentially, totally, &c. rarely add anything to a sentence; they're the written equivalent of "Um." See Wasted Words, and read it twice.
1. Basically
When you suspect someone of being an idiot, count how many times they say 'basically' when talking.
So, basically, at the end of the day, when all's said and done, basically, my vocabulary is really really basic.
2.
Like
A meaningless word used in teen-age American speech which may indicate, among other things a gap in thinking or brain functioning; a contemporary equivalent of "uh" or "um".
"He was like, about the same age as me, but like, I wasn't sure what he, like, wanted to do with me."
like
A word used mostly by preps after every other word for no reason at all - Becky- " I like, think we should, like go to, like the ..."
like
1. A word implying similarity between two things.
2. A level of romantic interest that is not as high as love, yet not exclusive to sex.
3. An idiot teenager conversation spacer that is virtually meaningless.
1. Apples are like bananas, as they are both fruits.
2. John is in like with Dave, because they are both fruits.
3. "So, like, I was like, 'Why don't we like do something?' " Teenaged Girl with IQ 75
like
A word used as filler. It has become such a meme in the English language that I am seriously pondering smashing my pinky with a rock every time I use it. Even highly educated people use it in this manner.
"So like we can use this equation to compute like a minimum fuel"
like
Every third word used in the LA and Orange County areas of Southern California.
"Like what time is it?", "Like I have no clue.", "Like then I was like this and then I was like that and then I was like why are you looking at me like that."like
Something people say way too much.
"Did you, like, like that book? I, like, liked it because it was, like, a lot like my life. I'd, like, like to get."Woooosaaaaaaaaa! That was a load off my shoulders. I also remember reading an article in Cleo magazine (and should seriously remember to get that article from Ida) that interviewees were actually rejected because they couldn't speak a sentence withour using the word "like", unnecessarily, of course. Come on, if you were the CEO of a company, would you hire somebody who spoke like this? :-
CEO : "Where were you born?"
Ms Thing: "BASICALLY, I was born in ... "
CEO : "Why should I hire you for this job?"
Ms Thing: "Well, BASICALLY, I, LIKE, am a TOTALLY people person and BASICALLY can work well, LIKE, under stress and BASICALLY am a team worker which is SO LIKE, important and LIKE I could SO charm the pants off your company's LIKE international investors who are LIKE BASICALLY pouring in LIKE millions of dollars."
CEO: Unfortunately, there is no feedback as the big cahuna croaked from a chronic embolism.
I rest my case and my back. The link below is a similar feature story by a writer. Enjoy.
http://www.thescreamonline.com/essays/essays08-01/basically.html
